Trepidation

I fucking hate when I can't be normal about stuff. One little fucking thing and I want to go into embryonic position. I always thought I'd get better about anxieties that shouldn't mean anything. Nothing ever seems to take that part of me away. It's a part of myself I'd fucking cut out on my own if I could. I hate being a nervous anxious ball of fucking energy over NOTHING. It irks me to no end and I seriously hate this part of myself. I, of course, fucking start this shit up when I pick a weekend to not drink. Now it's all I want to do just to calm the fuck down. This fever inside just creeps up out of no where and I'm shackled with the shakes. Shackled with horrible thoughts. Shackled to a weight that seems to want to drag my soul so far down I'll never see it again. UGH.