Well, I couldn't write and I still can't but I'm happier typing to music I enjoy. I breathe this shit, not emails, texts, or some masks we all display. It's always why I've been here, been alone. I find it hard, seriously fucking wanting me to kill someone, that I don't have some Chinese girls.
Drinking JD, I'm ok with that. I'm more than ok with that. I finally straightened out my pills for a few days and I really miss her. My darker days need to be phased and my hope needs a cut down. I'm still here, playing games and doing what I can to help myself. It's all I've got. I'm still trying to be happy after 31 years? fucks sake.
I think I was an idiot and need to be open to ppl. Even ppl that hurt me. It's all I've ever wanted.
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