In Jesus name

I always feel like a piece of shit when I let go like I did today. I freak out over anything, every little thing, because I am the fucking black sheep. I am the one my parents say I'm so fucking proud of but I'm none of that....I am a fuck up, black sheep, drug abuse, son I've always been. I am my half brother, I am my grandmother that none of you gave a shit about.

I am me. I'm a failure, I am not who I want to be, I am different people depending on clouds and I cry because I'm in love. It's all I have left. I know it's not right, it's scary and it's obsessive but it's the only soul I believe in loving. I'm scared as hell but its' all I have. I'll faint, I'll cry, I'll die too young and that's all I have. I burn myself to feel alive cause I never felt loved. I pray to not break this, fuck this up, all I have.

Break a needle in my favorite spot

I am this fool
believing in
some stars
and some
god damn
word love
I prevail
in my days
my guards,
my archers
my instincts
are where I
want to be
drunken fool
I'll always be
life, belief
I just want
your breath
before I die
Pause, fast
forward and
we talk, talk
type, type
our lives away

Trepidation

I fucking hate when I can't be normal about stuff. One little fucking thing and I want to go into embryonic position. I always thought I'd get better about anxieties that shouldn't mean anything. Nothing ever seems to take that part of me away. It's a part of myself I'd fucking cut out on my own if I could. I hate being a nervous anxious ball of fucking energy over NOTHING. It irks me to no end and I seriously hate this part of myself. I, of course, fucking start this shit up when I pick a weekend to not drink. Now it's all I want to do just to calm the fuck down. This fever inside just creeps up out of no where and I'm shackled with the shakes. Shackled with horrible thoughts. Shackled to a weight that seems to want to drag my soul so far down I'll never see it again. UGH.

AmethystVenom's #Crysis 2 Review(PS3)

I did not get a chance to play Crysis but was interested in Crysis 2. I was a bit hesitant at first but it seemed to have a lot of “fun” factor. Today I was finally able to finish to campaign. There are some reasons for the delay I will go into further though. I'll just say it up front though, if you want to be a kick ass soldier in a kick ass nanosuit check this one out.

I am only familiar with the first game through articles. Crysis 2 starts out 3 years after the first game in New York City. It is the year 2023 and there has been an alien invasion. These aliens are called the Ceph or as I'll always refer to them, those squid mother fuckers. I'll admit the story had some holes and honestly wasn't any sort of blockbuster. However, it doesn't matter because the game is “mostly” so fun to play.

Everyone has spoken about the graphics and how amazing they are. It is true. It's a gorgeous game and the New York here is certainly special. The details, lighting and areas are gorgeous. I keep getting asked the big question, better than killzone 3? I honestly can't prefer one over the other in graphics. We'll just say they hold their own in the graphics department. There are some unfortunate screen tearing which I'm assuming they will patch. This is nothing game breaking.

The gameplay is what makes this game come alive. Your nano suit is basically a near limitless weapon that you can customize to however you like to play. I must say most of the game I had to go through stealth although I'm a run and gunner. It's challenging but nearly all of gameplay was a blast. The controls are fluid and this is by far one of my favorite HUDs in any game. Thankfully the HUD even crosses over into multiplayer which I'll go into later.

The campaign honestly lacks much story. The dialogue honestly feels a little tired and really just seemed like filler. If you can forgive the story though, there is true greatness to this game on the gameplay level, different ways to approach situations and it's deserving of multiple play throughs. Who doesn't like being a kick ass soldier in nanosuit 2.0? I mean, try it on. It definitely fit for me. A game stopping bug did hold me back for a few days. EA's support was horrible as usual but finally after other attempts and suggestions. It seems if you get stuck after defeating a pinger, just restart the chapter. With that out of the way, the A.I. I felt could have been better.

It seems the development team went for details and got 98% of this game to perfection. However, with the a npcs running in place against walls it does take it down a notch. I hope there is a resolution and tweaks to the AI one day. I doubt that will happen but it far from ruined my experience with Crysis 2. If you are about fun factor, slick controls, a game that looks great and kicking ass I doubt you will be let down.

Yet another great thing is the Crysis 2 multiplayer. It is a blast to play, ugprade and use many different strategies to take down your opponents. I love the twists on the normal multiplayer fps modes. You have your normal team based and solo death matches. You have a capture and hold type game(Crash Site) where an alien craft comes and shoots down a pod where your team have to control it. I'm loving this mode. There is also a capture the falg(capture the relay), extraction(teams try to steal tanks) and assault(One team tries to obtain data terminals and the other team must defend). Killzone 3 also took a big hit due to the lack of maps. Not worry on Crysis 2, it comes with a whopping 12 maps! For the most part all put together extremely well.

Big question, so buy it or not? Buy it if this interested you at all. I see myself playing not only the campaign a few times through but multiplayer for hours. There is a bit of a learning curve but don't be afraid to jump in. It gets more and more fun as you level up. The multiplayer fits in well with the feel of the game and I think Crytek did an amaing job. It has some faults but they are extremely easy to look over. This is a must have title in 2011. Now, go, save New York and crush some squid soldier!

9.0 out of 10

Untitled

If I'd have known
I'd let this shadow
go so long ago
A pale ghost
whispering to
moonlight's
trance, lost
my stars years
ago, flickering
light in her
life filled eyes
wakes me, a
heart thrice
it's size since
I knew her
years ago
Softest lips
I've melted
again and
again with
a memory
Just a blink
of my eye
to think of
her angelic
face and
smile, so
many years
turns out
a heart's
memory
is never
wrong

Fish Faces

Twenty ninth, third month
Anxious but happy for
the first time in years
Blush comes to face
red paints pale skin
but I always wondered
always somewhere in
my heart she's stayed
A small town setting
but our hearts bigger
than the state itself
Silly faces, glances
butterflies dancing
She's still the girl
for me, I can see
again and again
Her green eyes
still sparkle life
So pretty she's
got me on my
knees, letting all
these defenses
crumble to sand
I'd stare into
those eyes for
a lifetime and
never get enough
Future hopes
dreams come
true with a  kiss
and love yous
connected

Killzone 3 Review from a Killzone fan(A month later) 6.5 out of 10

I am a killzone fan. I did enjoy the first one and got addicted to killzone 2. I played and still own the game because I could pop it in at anytime. You can imagine mine and the community excitement with all the beta testing and news of Killzone 3. I have seen it evolve and I truly love how Guerilla Games listened to the community during killzone 2. This is why I have waited to give my thoughts on Killzone 3. It has been a month now and I feel I can be honest. First thing I'll get out right away, the menu screens are absolutely atrocious. I can not justify why they did this. With that stated, that doesn't make a game.

First off, the campaign and story are top notch. It's a bit shorter than I expected. However, with all the gorgeous set pieces and kick ass action I loved it. Sometimes the A.I. Did feel weaker in KZ3 versus Killzone 3. However, there was no frustrating moments on Elite as there was in KZ2. I must say though to platinum this one is much less of a challenge. I am addressing this review to fans of the series. The campaign is a brilliant addition to the world we know. The story was great and it is truly a blast to play through.

The graphics in the campaign are superior to any shooter I can think of. The only contender I know of currently is Crysis 2. There will be more on that to come though. A lot of gamers complained about the dark, gritty look of Helghan in killlzone 2. They have addressed this and gave us a much broader view into the planet. You have gorgeous seas, vivid jungles and other terrains that are simply breathtaking. The story fits well into the universe and the ending is something nothing short of awesome. I don't want to spoil it though especially due to the shortness. I played it through and went back through it in the same week though. That should speak volumes as I rarely do this with a FPS campaign.

With the “brutal” melee system in place it actually makes it fun to play through a few times. Be stealthy or go in with guns blazing. It's all up to you. The controls are tighter with less dead spot and I personally don't see how they could improve on them. They are perfect in my honest opinion. Keep in mind, I'm not a huge fan of the normal COD layout though. The new cover system does brilliantly and the new slide adds to the adrenalin.

Now, for the heart and obsession I had with killzone 2, we needed a bigger, better multiplayer. This is one reason I've waited a month. There has been continuous issues and patches released. I'm honestly not sure how this happened after the countless hours of beta testing allowed for this game. It is still one of the best out there and is fun to play alone but a true experience to play with a full squad. The problem now is can you get into the games, will you have lag that will ruin the experience, or will you simply be stuck on the same map over and over again. These are issues that we should not be experiencing this late into the game.

I feel GG has let it's fans down in some way after the continuous communication we had during killzone 2. Sure, all games have there bugs/issues but they were resolved. We were told they were being resolved. It is as if the development team has vanished almost completely on the communication side and the patches they have released just cause more issues. The game, when it works, is fun to play. I still do not understand why we do not have custom games but they stated(a while ago) it will be in a patch. I think GG does need to listen to our marksman cloaking being unbalanced with a machine gun. There are some other balance issues that could go into but go to there forums if you want to here all of them.

Biggest thing to take away from this is I'm not bashing Killzone 3. When it works I absolutely love it although I do wish for some tweaks and changes still. I think the fans that still have the game are hoping for this as well. I feel as somewhere since killzone 2 the community matters less and that truly sucks in my opinion. I somewhere still have faith they can turn this around but there is a lot to turn around. Most mentioned above for me, some other issues as modes and the true lack of enough maps on release. I still thought there should have been four to five operation modes but hey, we all buy dlc. It's been a month now and I can sadly say overall I'm disappointed. Frustratingly so as this is one of my favorite FPS franchises. I also felt that the development team that once communicated so well with it's fan base has completely dropped the ball. I'm hoping I can update this one day to a better review but currently I can not. It's been a true stab to the heart of this killzone fan.  

I might shed a tear but overall Killzone 3 gets a 6.5 from me. Possibly a 7 if we had better communication from GG. I'll still be on Vekta hoping they get on the ball and pull this number up higher though.