Obscured

Held down by those

wires attached by

the white widow

I need a bottle

again and again

A haze blinds

me where she

can't find me

a drunken bliss

graceful folly

I got a head

full of mirrors

past, present

and a burning

future(Addiction)

Falling out of

my own spirit

Trying to rise

again but iron

chains weigh

heavy on this

shadow I am

Fizzle

Awoke to this
embrace from
the heavens
A night filled
dark and cold
Soul tempts
me with these
thoughts and
digressions
Transgressions
interrupt these
synapses that
flutter to a
green, blue
sparkle(love)
Spiraling and
fizzling into
this new age
This new hopeful
embrace,where
I must lay
my heart out
for all to see

3.8.11

There's that part of me

thinking I'm loosing 

myself again

but another, overcoming

gravity pulling me to

an instinct, a feeling

a heart that I longed

for years ago till

this day, A fool

I feel with this silly

songs and beats

to a heart I thought

I lost so long ago

A aura, a change

in the seasons

that seem hopeful

Wishing upon

the stars and

time itself I 

beg of the gods

to leave me here

Untitled

Rose petal eyes

pat pat of this

heart I've tried

to forget, to

erase, whited

out myself

in the name 

of this hope

That bright

light that I

lost sight of

between the

shipwrecks

and lost days,

walks among

myself and

shadows light

I'd trade it all

for this beating

heart, moments

timed by a moon

shine dream land

The stars are in

focus tonight

GO AWAY

Well, I couldn't write and I still can't but I'm happier typing to music I enjoy. I breathe this shit, not emails, texts, or some masks we all display. It's always why I've been here, been alone. I find it hard, seriously fucking wanting me to kill someone, that I don't have some Chinese girls.

Drinking JD, I'm ok with that. I'm more than ok with that. I finally straightened out my pills for a few days and I really miss her. My darker days need to be phased and my hope needs a cut down. I'm still here, playing games and doing what I can to help myself. It's all I've got. I'm still trying to be happy after 31 years? fucks sake.

I think I  was an idiot and need to be open to ppl. Even ppl that hurt me. It's all I've ever wanted.

3.3.11

I've got lazy eyes
A sign of grace
and I'm walking
in shallow water
on a beach on
a planet I don't
know, vacant
and free, alone
Desolate winds
blow sands
like souls before
Dreams falling
from clouds
spiraling through
the mountains
Tear gas calm
brings me down
and I'm sitting
waiting, again
and again

TOO MANY GAMES! What I've been playing..

Obviously, Killzone 3 is still priority although I'm anxiously awaiting the patch. As much as I loved the retro maps  I can't play them for hours at time without any switching. Either way, fantastic game. I got the platinum finally and the game is AWESOME. Especially with BPC buddies. :)

Sonic the Hedghog untouched with trophies. It's perfect

PixelJunk Shooter 2 is a blast and you must play this game. Do it NOW.

I got lucky on twitter and got the First Strike DLC for COD:Black Ops. Thank you @FanboyAttack!
You can visit the site here http://attackofthefanboy.com.

I haven't played the zombie map yet but  I will say they are 4 very nice maps. I really enjoy the rooftops of Kowloon. Graphically, I have to say I'm impressed with the team on discovery. All the maps look solid and I'll review them if I get a chance.

It was an odd turn to go back to COD after this much KZ3 time. I know IW said they don't need a new engine but I disagree. Even though the new maps are nice, graphically KZ3 is so far advanced it feels like I'm playing different generation games.